My purpose in Thailand is to find my Zen. Connect what things make me feel most passionate, assemble their purposes, & puruse them devoutly. W/ an open heart full of gladness, I'll awaken to hear the sounds of life bursting in bloom all around me.
the climate here is stifling. each of us in search of a godhead to have it all make sense for our weary minds in conflict w/ chaos. Acting like a bunch of children, tho only worse. The emotional depths of a flattened road, a dead-end. Fucking toddlers if you ask me. No one's finding meaning in themselves. & it's downright killing me that this is what they want for me as well. Tho I know I was born for something better, & I wasn't taught to compromise upon my integrity. Altho that's all I've ever seen, all I've ever known. That is no matter. I'm the one I need to know & no one else, yet I'd still love to learn. One day, I suppose. When that day is right.
So I'm breaking away, owning up to it all, & jetting because that's what makes sense to me- to lose all hope then regain it anew, in a way that will stand firm in conviction.
Therefore, finding myself breathing life. Aflame. Glorifying what I was sent here to praise openly. Life & the joyful abundance of contended living. For my own sake, not for other's, at least not until I grow to that special point where all I am is able to give lovingly w/out holding back.
Then I will know that I have acheived. And that will be all I've ever wanted. All I've ever hoped for.
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